by Rob Hueniken on Thursday, January 7, 2010
Our world depends on a lot of people getting things done. We all have our roles and our tasks, and every day has more than enough to do.
And swirling through our days are people. Some of them we see every day, like those we work with. Some people we only see for a minute, like those who help us in checkout lines or at a restaurant. Some we walk by and never share a word with.
But all of the people in our days are, in fact, real and caring people. And all of them, in some way, are sharing their lives with you.
We cannot know every person, or spend all of our days thanking each other.
But we can appreciate people, and let them know.
Showing appreciation usually starts with a smile or a greeting — letting the other person know we see them — and ends with thanking them.
What happens after that comes naturally. When people feel appreciated they are encouraged and they feel welcome. Their eyes sparkle a bit more, and they can handle tough moments a little more easily. They try hard and the work day goes more easily. They feel they are part of a special team — a loosely knit community of people who recognize the efforts of those around us, and who acknowledge that personally.
You like it when other people appreciate your efforts. Share the joy. Thank someone — many someones — every day.
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by Rob Hueniken on Thursday, November 5, 2009
Taylor Swift is a talented and insightful musician
In a recent song by Taylor Swift, a young woman laments that her guy-friend cannot see that she would make a great girlfriend.
The song, titled “You Belong with Me“, is beautifully written, with a simple, down home beginning and a strong, soaring finale.
Listening to the song it is easy to ask, “Why is this guy so blind to what is right in front of him?”
As the singer narrates, the young man is attracted — as our society encourages — to a different woman, a fancier woman, who wears short skirts and high heels. The downside? His current girlfriend doesn’t get his sense of humor, like his music, or have a clue what his story really is.
Is this situation a surprise to anyone?
In an age where fashion and entertainment are key elements of society, many people fall prey to the Emperor’s new clothes. Both men and women are besieged with images of glamor and persistent promises of happiness through ownership and how we look. We are told, repeatedly and every day, what’s in right now and what to buy to be cool.
But as most people learn, pursuing what is cool is an endlessly moving target — achieved for brief shiny moments — and driven largely by companies intent on slimming our wallets as they sculpt our look. Fashion can be fun, but it can mask who we really are, and keep us from what might really make us happy.
In Taylor’s song, the young woman wishes her friend would see how she is a better match for him, but she does not directly tell him. She is exasperated by his failure to see her true heart and value, but is either too shy or too proud to tell him.
This is an unfortunate side-effect of a culture encouraged to surpass and achieve more — where honesty and humility are valued, but less than we deserve.
[Note: In the music video for the song, the song's two characters do communicate better, passing "text" messages by writing on pads of paper.]
“You Belong with Me” is a wake-up call about valuing the people in our lives, and a reminder for all of us — to know and show our own hearts — to let our real self show through the fashion and possessions.
If every last shred of designer-wear were to disappear from Earth, we might look a little less fancy, but we would more clearly know and show ourselves.
It is the heart of each person that we need to recognize and care about.
Know your heart. Show your heart.
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by Rob Hueniken on Thursday, September 17, 2009
During times of change or struggle you can often hear someone say that “things will even out”. It is a conflicted catch phrase in that it sounds optimistic but doesn’t assign any responsibility.
It is usually uttered when something bad is happening now, or we suspect that things will be less than perfect later on.
Often the people who say “things will even out” are either not the ones being directly affected by the situation, they have struggled and lost in a similar situation in the past, or they have yet to experience a positive team experience.
Working together on mutually beneficial tasks is at the core of society. Despite our seeming individuality, most people share common goals and needs.
What is often hidden in our current culture is the joy and satisfaction of helping others. Very strong marketing efforts are made every day to convince each of us that we are unique and need to think primarily about what we want and what we desire — right now!
While it is essential for each of us to try hard to work through our problems, we need to know when we need help. We can be humble and accepting of our own limitations because we know that together we can do more.
Most people like helping others, and if asked to help they will.
The next time you hear someone say “things will even out” please recognize the moment for what it is: someone needs help and you might be the person that can help them.
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