Tag Archives: Sharing

The New Glory Days – Pruning back former glory to find new joy

pruning-back-some-former-gloryOne of my favorite summer flowers is the garden geranium, with its beautiful, summer-long color. It is the type of flower that you can count on, week after week, month after month. With only a bit of watering, and some essential pruning, they will continue to make your life brighter.

Growing up, our family hung white pails of red geraniums from the trees along our laneway. They were a cheerful sight for guests and part of the colorful backdrop for my early years.

What I didn't know then is that it is the pruning of geraniums that keeps them looking so wonderful. Yes, they'll survive if you just water them, but after a month they'll have a browning collection of old flower clusters — masses of former glory — that stifles the growth of the new blossoms.

On a geranium, removing the old flowers is easy. There's a single stem that holds each cluster, and you can quickly break off the old bits with your fingers.

But unlike flowers, when it comes to people's lives, former glories can be hard to prune away and leave behind.

getting-past-the-old-glory-daysEach of us has memories of great moments in our lives — our successes and our achievements. They were the times when we came out on top, either on our own or as part of a team. By the time we are adults, there can be all sorts of glory days to remember: Sports victories, school successes, business coups, art show ribbons, as well as outrageous but successful exploits of all types.

Memories of our past victories can be great fuel for our lives, giving us confidence, and reminding us that we can do it if we really try. They can boost our reputation, and help us reach new and better goals.

The problem with glory days is that they can become less of a trophy and more of an anchor, dragging us into the past. The change occurs when we stop using our previous successes as fuel for our future, and start thinking that either our best days are behind us, or that we can rest on our laurels.

A big part of moving forward with our lives is changing our focus from me to us — from our own victories to shared successes — from "I can do it" to "we can do it together." 

Life's best moments, for people of all ages, are usually the times we share. They are the times we are together, helping each other, and bringing our personal strengths, feelings and knowlege into play. Life's great times are when we are sharing the task and the fun. Sure we want to get things done, but it is the sharing of community that makes life special.

For many people, the years of competitive school, sports and work environments have left them thinking that their contribution time is over — that they haven't got what it takes anymore. But while youth does give an advantage when it comes to running a touchdown, people of every age can be a part of important projects, including social and community efforts.

And while it is true that it takes money to live, there is much more to life than money — and almost all of the really good things in life start with a smile and an offer to spend time with someone, helping.  Which would you prefer to say: "When I was 20 I won a football trophy" or "Later today a bunch of us will be helping fix up the community centre"?

Whatever your age there are opportunities for you to help make our world better, and for you to become happier.

Our glory days are still ahead — and we are going to share them.

glory-days-are-about-helping-each-other-today

Bruce Springsteen, in his song, Glory Days, talks about the problem of living in the past:

Now I think I'm going down to the well tonight and I'm going to drink till I get my fill. And I hope when I get old I don't sit around thinking about it but I probably will. Yeah, just sitting back trying to recapture a little of the glory of.  Well time slips away and leaves you with nothing, mister, but boring stories of glory days.

Be a part of your community. Find ways to share your strengths and time on projects that matter to people.
You will find there is great joy in helping others, and that our glory days are still ahead.

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Subtle warmth and color

Better for the subtle color Back in the days of wood heating, the fireplace was a central and essential part of the house. Stoked and prodded, fire was a bright orange source of heat, and a strong reminder of our shared interests in warmth and community. Atop the fireplace, on the mantle, was always something of personal meaning to the family, be it a family portrait or a treasured heirloom. Chairs were positioned around the fireplace, and it was a focal point that drew us together frequently, to talk and share time.

Nowadays, most homes are heated thoroughly and invisibly by a furnace or baseboard heaters. No-one has to stoke or carry wood, and we can each be comfortable in our own rooms. More often it seems, we are on our own, with our iPods and screens. Without direct fire we are safer now, and the warmth is easy and assumed. Its cost comes in the bill at the end of the month, and the more subtle loss of shared time and discussion.

On a recent visit to my parent's home my Mom had changed the fireplace mantle display. An elegant vase from my childhood held long stems of spring buds and bull rushes. Entwined through it all were soft, pink flowers. On its right was a beautiful woman, dressed in soft grey with a matching pink umbrella, enjoying the nearby flowers.

The starkness of the dark brown bullrushes stood out against the muted shadows on the wall, and it struck me how easily we can separate ourselves from nature and community. In their native environment, bull rushes grow in swamps, and wet feet are guaranteed for their collection — or would be if it were us collecting them. More often these days the colors of nature are filtered through our screens, and not so much entwined, but engulfed, in the determined marketing of everything. There's a lot of pulsing, dynamic color to be seen on our screens, and no shortage of actors' interpretation of life.

But here in my parents' home, bull rushes and porcelin ladies stand together, as we sit and talk and share.

People are wonderfully adaptive and strong — surviving almost anything and flourishing whenever possible. I love art and the freedom and creativity that our culture encourages. I know that people gather, as they always have, to share time and stories — to meet and to fall in love.

But let's not lose our sense of subtlety — our joy in calmness — our appreciation of being together, full of subtle warmth and color.

Better for the subtle colors

Looking closer at the mantle's display, I saw the small pink flower on the vase. Nice touch — very subtle.

sutble-color-on-the-vase

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Guess who’s not coming to dinner

Having dinner with friends at a nice restaurant is a wonderful event. You are with people you love, being served excellent food that arrives without any effort by you in the kitchen. The air is filled with laughter and storytelling, and time rolls backward as you reconnect with friends with youthful exuberance. I joined five… Continue Reading

Not on the outside

One of the worst feelings is being left out. Something is going on and you aren’t included, whether it was intentionally, or you were forgotten, or they never imagined you might want to be included . While some people prefer being on their own, that is different from actually being left out. Being left out… Continue Reading

Someone that someone cares about

As people discovered with the Six Degrees of Separation, we are all connected in surprisingly few steps. While walking in the mall, driving down the road, or having lunch, we are near to people that someone close to us knows and cares about. It is an illusion that our days are filled with true strangers… Continue Reading

Cookies make us kids again

There is one thing that can bring people of all ages and cultures to a shared smile: cookies. Our local deli-restaurant is a gathering place on Sundays, where family and friends get together. Everyone gets to order their own meal from the various counters so we tend to grab our trays and spread out when… Continue Reading

Becoming Batman

Our continued interest in comic book heroes reflects our admiration for those who help others despite the challenges. When I was a boy I got my comic book fix in 12 cent monthly increments They were delivered via the local variety store called [in all its early innocence and lung-stomping dastardliness] the Smoke Shop. There,… Continue Reading